Let’s Review: Breaking Dawn “Part 1”

In one word….horrifying.

Everyone's favorite squinty-eyed werewolf

And in more ways than one. If you’ve read the books, then you know what  happens after Edward and Bella’s honeymoon- the horrible pregnancy and the gag-inducing “birth,” if you could call it that, of their half-vampire baby. Get ready. Brace yourself. It’s gross.

Another instance of horror is when Jacob “imprints” on someone. If you’ve read the book then you know what I’m talking about. If you haven’t read it- Get ready. Brace yourself. It’s gross.

Part 1 of part 4 of this infamous “saga” is exactly like the other three the world has endured. The vampires are stiff as boards, Bella’s “regular” friends (as in actual humans) are oddly jealous of her, Edward is brooding, Jacob is smoldering, and Bella herself is the dead-panned object of affection for both vamp and wolf alike.

Preggers?!

One cannot just blame the actors for the two-bit performances on screen, because the fault partially lands on the dialogue, which there is less of than I think is normal. Half the movie is people running, with some staring, and a little crying mixed in to “liven” things up.

For being such a large franchise, you’d think they’d hire the very best directors, choreographers, acting coaches and creative people for the Twilight movies, but somehow they all still look like the extremely low-budget first Twilight movie. Kick it up a notch, will ya?

Bite me.

There were a lot of moments in the film that were unintentionally funny. That’s usually not a good thing, if you get laughs without meaning to. I mean, some of the “dramatic” moments were entirely too dramatic just because of the over-acting involved (for example, be on the lookout for Jasper Hale’s one line. Yes, I said one line. As in, he literally only has one line in the entire movie. Hahahaha.)

So what do I think?

If you love the books, then go see it. If you’re bored and are willing to pay for a few laughs, go for it. If you ever want to give birth or have children, re-think seeing this. Trust me.

What do you think?

Have you seen Twilight: Breaking Dawn Part 1? Tell me what you thought in the comments!